About a year back, I removed all my

dating apps

After eight consecutive first dates and a stretch of not dating anyone,

apps

, I decided if I couldn’t find love in real life, then perhaps I didn’t want it.

By spring of 2025, I’m still absent from dating apps yet finding myself somewhat less resolute in maintaining my strict policy. Still, one point shines through unambiguously: my firm intention against starting anew.

relationship

with someone who has political beliefs that seem at odds with mine.

My recollections of using those applications don’t really encourage me to reinstall them at the moment. Among these experiences was someone who admired a sexist social media personality.

Andrew Tate

, not to mention the paranoid conspiracy theorist — both of whom I met on

Hinge

.

It goes without saying that online dating doesn’t occur in a vacuum. We are living in a ferociously polarised political climate, and this is undoubtedly having reverberations on people’s love lives. I spoke with daters and dating experts about how, like me, many singles are now refusing to date someone with contrasting political beliefs — at a time when the divide is starker than ever.

Socially polarized both online and on dating platforms

The significance of a date’s political views isn’t merely based on stories; it’s supported by studies.

Pre-Inauguration Day data from the dating app Hily, which polled 5,000 mostly straight Gen Z and millennial Americans, found that around four in ten

American women have strong political beliefs

, and a third would turn down a date over political differences. While around the same proportion of men hold strong political views, just one in ten would forgo a date if their political views did not align.

Researchers also found nearly half of American women wouldn’t date someone who voted for the “other side” in the last election — a higher proportion than the one in five men. Meanwhile, May 2025 research from OkCupid shows six in ten women around the world would like to have the

same political views

as their match. In the U.S. alone, this proportion rises to nearly seven in ten.

And if we take a look at some older data, it appears that the importance we place on politics when dating has been rising for some time. Interestingly,

research

The survey conducted by Match.com, involving more than 5,000 single individuals, revealed that approximately eighty percent of American singles indicated willingness to date someone from an opposing political party back in 2015. However, this number dropped significantly to about fifty percent by 2019. It’s tempting to speculate whether President Donald Trump’s victory in the 2016 elections might be linked to this change.

In both the US and the UK across the Atlantic, 2016 stood out as a crucial year that shaped the political environment over the following decade. Leading up to and following the 2016 Brexit referendum in the UK, politics grew increasingly tense and polarized, resulting in

conflicts and strains in relationships

both the new and the old.

Currently, the political scene seems more chaotic and divided than it has been in many years. Following Trump’s unprecedented return to the White House for a consecutive term—a truly wild political resurgence—the concerns over an escalating tide of human rights violations spreading through the so-called free world and further abroad are intensifying. At the same time, the rising impact of sexist figures prominent on social media platforms continues to grow.

manosphere

causes a parallel anxiety.

Not long ago, bringing up politics—specifically whom someone voted for—during a first date was seen as somewhat taboo. Today, however, this topic could be a make-or-break factor in relationships. Inquiring about one’s political stance has turned into a common practice in both the U.S. and the UK. Additionally, dating platforms now offer features that allow people to filter out potential matches based on their political beliefs.

Traditionally, individuals showed greater openness to dating someone with differing political views compared to today,” says Dr. Natasha McKeever, a lecturer in applied ethics who co-directs the Centre for Love, Sex, and Relationships at the University of Leeds. “There seems to be an increase in political polarization among people nowadays.

Online dating allows individuals to explicitly state their preferred traits in a partner prior to meeting face-to-face, she notes. “For instance, we could mention ‘no Tories,’ indicating that we would avoid engaging in conversation with anyone supporting the Tory party,” she states. (In the UK, a ‘Tory’ refers to a follower of the Conservative Party.) “However, before online dating became prevalent, when you met someone at a pub, you likely wouldn’t know about each other’s political affiliations; thus, your openness towards others might have been higher. Nowadays, there are numerous political topics causing divisions among people.”

Chloe’s experience with dating apps has shifted alongside the increasing polarization of the political landscape. This 32-year-old woman boldly states that seeking romance as a progressive individual residing in Houston, Texas feels akin to “navigating a political minefield.”

“Pre-online dating, if you are meeting someone at a bar, you might not know which party they vote for, so you may be more open. There are now all sorts of political issues that people are divided over.”

Dr. Natasha McKeever, who lectures in applied ethics

“Houston is a city that technically votes blue — so, votes Democratic — but very much swims with conservative undercurrents. Just because it is such a largely densely populated city with so many smaller towns outside of the city that are predominantly conservative,” Chloe, who uses dating apps Hinge and Raya, tells me.

As Donald Trump’s MAGA movement has further swelled in the past two years, Chloe has come across more conservative men who describe themselves as politically moderate on dating apps. In her view, these men are either downplaying or outrightly hiding their true political views. “I’m not sure if it’s more of a subtle form of manipulation or trying to one-up a liberal woman,” she adds.

Chloe, who works in global social justice, explains she is very vocal about her political views from the outset when dating, like asking men about their politics to ensure compatibility. “I’ve had everything from guys saying that they’re moderate and then later on finding a MAGA hat or they like Trump posts on Instagram,” she explains.

Recounting the incident where she found a MAGA hat sitting on the dashboard of the car of a man she was dating, she questions whether he deliberately placed the cap there to see how she would respond. “I just remember immediately looking around to see if anybody could see it because this hat is a sign of hatred for me,” Chloe adds. “I felt completely mortified. Sitting in that car, I know I didn’t, but I felt like I had somehow betrayed all of my own values.”

Chloe says she has encountered men on dating apps who she describes as “shy” Trump supporters who take a traditionally conservative approach to the economy but claim they are socially liberal. “Who votes for their own self-interest and directly votes against the rights of others,” she adds. Chloe explains she is looking to date a man who votes Democrat, as politics is deeply important to her. “It’s more than policies,” she says. “Politics means more. This is about real people and about whether you are an empathetic person. Do you have compassion for others? Do you care about the rights, the dignity, and the equality of all people?”

What effect does the ideological divide over gender issues have on dating?

Chloe isn’t alone in struggling to find someone with similar views. Studies show that the ideological divide between young men and women is widening, with young men tending towards more socially conservative positions. According to research conducted by the anti-fascist organization Hope Not Hate, which surveyed approximately 2,000 individuals aged 16 to 24 in the UK, 41 percent of those interviewed identified as increasingly socially conservative.

Young males back Andrew Tate

while 12 percent of young women do so.

Given the rising sway of far-right ideologies and misogynistic voices on social media platforms, along with the proliferation of false information both intentionally fabricated and mistakenly shared, and considering the intensifying so-called culture wars, it would be shortsighted and unwise to ignore their potential effects on how people date today.

Before deleting the apps, I noticed and sensed this when browsing through numerous male profiles that seemed to espouse misogynistic beliefs. At least, based on what they wrote in their Hinge bios. For instance, there was the guy who claimed taking birth control pills harms women’s health, or another whose bio portrayed almost every woman as materialistic.

“I’ve never swiped right on anybody who identifies as conservative,” Sarah*, who uses dating apps Hinge, Bumble, and Tinder, tells me. “If their profile says moderate, I’m open to it. But if they are moderate [and] Christian, I swipe left.”

A 29-year-old resident of Indiana mentions that they consider themselves a liberal, yet the majority of individuals they meet on dating platforms tend to have more conservative views. She expresses her surprise at discovering that numerous men, whom she initially thought held progressive beliefs—some even sporting hipster aesthetics—were actually quite conservative.

“I’ve never swiped right on anybody who identifies as conservative.”

Dater Sarah

“You start having a conversation and they are arguing with you even though they are saying they agree with you,” Sarah explains. She encounters dating profiles where men openly call out “lib-tards” or ask liberals not to swipe right, she says, as well as scrolling past profiles where men are wearing MAGA-branded merch or clothing that says “Back the Blue” to indicate their support for the police (at a time when the reality of

police brutality

has become more public).

Unsurprisingly, she also encounters these issues in the workplace as she is a couples therapist. “I’ve definitely had couples that have differing beliefs and values, whether it’s because they are straight up politically different or two liberal people can be really different if one of those liberal people was raised by conservatives,” she says. “That stuff is still part of your belief system, whether you realise it or not.”

Sarah says she has met a lot of women who end up in relationships with conservative men, as they felt this was their only option. “It’s really important to talk about politics and values really early on in the dating process because once you have kids and those values start getting put into practice, you might find that it’s just really difficult to reach common ground.”

Ammanda Major, who worked as a sex and relationships therapist for almost three decades in the UK, but is now head of clinical practice at UK relationships charity

Relate

, says people often seek a partner who holds similar beliefs to their own, as this creates harmony. “But equally, I think it can sometimes go too far where it becomes difficult to hear alternative views,” she adds.

Jo*, from Buckinghamshire in the UK, recalls going on a drunken date with a man during the COVID pandemic. Although politics did not come up when they first met, five minutes into their second date, she realised he held ultra-conservative views and saw anyone who claimed benefits as a scrounger. “It got quite heated quite quickly and I’m quite outspoken and then I left,” the 33-year-old student recalls. “He kept messaging me afterwards as well, being like, ‘Can we have another try?'”

It probably will not surprise you that Jo did not go on a third date with him. For some, Jo’s refusal to persevere will be seen as symptomatic of political intolerance. Others will feel she made a lucky escape, understanding and empathising with her decision.

To me, it seems nearly impossible to separate numerous political beliefs from personal values and broader life perspectives—elements that generally require alignment for relationships to grow deeper and thrive. Can one easily accept differing opinions when faced with someone who minimizes—or even propagates—misogynistic, racist, classist, transphobic, homophobic, ableist, or xenophobic rhetoric? This has become an increasingly common challenge for individuals navigating dating today.


*Personal identifiers have been altered to safeguard privacy.*

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